This Blog Post Will Remain Untitled, Due to Lack of Creativity

A couple weekends ago, we ventured over to Taipei. 

Via railroad.

(Kendra is such a picture-taking doll.)

We shopped (the elusive Chambray Top was discovered and PURCHASED), we wandered, we bonded, we had picnics.

We had Indian food here, too:

Taipei 101: the island's own Eiffel Tower.

Except 101 has the added bonus of a food court in the basement, and high end brand name stores I can only lust after on the two floors above. 

Plus, the fact that the 101 was advertising Cartier kind of tickled me pink. (Guess what famous diamond brand has a headquarters just a few blocks away from here? That's right.)

This made me happy, too.

 

 

These girls are some of my favorites:

(I always want Kendra to take the pictures, because she has this totally legit camera--a big black one with the long lens thingy--that makes an awesome "clicking" noise when you push the button. It makes me want one, so I can carry it around while wearing a mustard cardigan, a striped scarf, and square glasses to make people think I'm a legit hipster.)

The next day, we had a picnic here:

 

Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall.

It's a memorial. For Chiang Kai-shek, a military leader of 20th century China. (That's all Wikipedia would tell me straight off of the Google page.)

It was Sunday, so there were quite a few other people there, as well.

 

"Kendra, Kendra! Lemme see the picture you just took, lemme see the picture you just took!"

It was fun being in Taipei; because it's kind of a famous city. You know, Taiwan's capital, and all. People tour there, and stuff. I live in Fengyuan, which--plenty of people remind me--is a rather small town. So, being white, we get looked at a lot in Fengyuan. Because there aren't many people touring in a small town. 

 But in Taipei, there are definitely more foreigners around. It's always fun to see a blonde head, or a tall old white guy, at the train station, or at the memorial hall where you had a picnic. My initial reaction when seeing a fellow white person is, "Oh, look, a foreigner! How cute, there's a group of them touring. Look at them, with their strollers and their cameras. Well, I'm no tourist. I live here. So there. I'm cooler." 

But I bet you can guess what they're thinking when they see me: "Hey cool! Another white person who decided to take a vacation to Taiwan! I wonder how long she's been here? Probably not very long. Well, I've been here a week already. So there. I'm cooler." 

Mostly it's funny, because human beings just think like that. 

But really. I'm cooler.

Awkward.

That awkward moment when:

-You're not sure whether the red spot on your face is an incoming zit, or an outgoing mosquito bite. 

- That stagnant water smell wafts up your nose during your shower, and you're not sure if it's from the open window, or the shower water you're currently bathing in. 
 

-You get your picture taken through the window of a bus, 'cause you're white.

-You pay 7 bucks for a gallon of questionably hydrogonized/pasteurized milk.  

- Chinglish tees excite you.

-You forget your grocery bag when you go to the store, so you stuff everything but the milk and frozen onion pancakes into your purse, and try to maintain a sense of dignity as you walk out. 

- You find yourself humming the catchy jingle that garbage trucks blast out to announce their upcoming approach.

- The 7-11 workers know you.

- The Taiwanese woman behind you in line is pushing her 7 year old daughter toward you, telling her to "Speak! Speak! English, English!"

- You accidentally bike into the recycling frenzy frequented by senior citizens on a street corner.

- A random grocery store employee gets really close to your face, says "You so beautiful," in English, and then proceeds to spout out a current of excited Chinese, to which all you can do is smile and look confused until they beam at you, nod enthusiastically, and walk away.

#sillyamericanlivingintaiwan

 

Day Four.

GUYS.

Some awesome things happened today.

This happened:

My tutoring student (a fashionable, forty-something mother of another student of mine) knows that I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE SOUL anything to do with my outward appearance; so today, at the beginning of our tutoring session, she breezed in with this glorious thing in her hand. 

FOR ME.

It's a thing of beauty.

(Every week, we talk about clothes, and shoes, and makeup, and nails. Best class time EVER.)

And then, THIS HAPPENED:

Sorry the picture is a little grainy; I couldn't focus the camera in all my excitement to gobble this down. SO YUMMY.

This may not look as chocolatey and delicious as it WAS, but let me tell you, it was the most amazing microwavable, chocolate, SUGAR-FREE cake on the history of this planet. I found this fabulous blog that has all sorts of amazing, healthy dessert recipes with WONDERFUL sugar free options! This moist little morsel was rich, warm, gooey, and FULL of (sugar free) chocolate. I'll be making this again real soon, FOR SURESIES.

This next month looks like it's going to go faster than anticipated.

PS: I told one of my students today that I was going off of sugar for an entire month, and she got this look of absolute horror on her face, as if I told her I had just murdered somebody (seriously, her eyes widened, her job dropped, and her eyebrows furrowed), and asked, "WHY?"

My gosh, these kids are awesome.

The Sweeping.

A holiday is coming up. Some people strike preemptively by celebrating it early and beating the rush.

    TOMB SWEEPING.

That is a grave. A tomb, if you will. Two can fit in there nice and cozy.

That is a cemetery. Filled with lots of tombs.

And this is how you tomb sweep:

 Step 1: You sweep. Make sure the area around the actual tomb is nice and clean. There are no caretakers for cemeteries over here; it's all up to living relatives to keep the dead ones looking pretty. So the first step is to make sure there are no unsightly twigs or clumps of dirt around.

Step 2: You re-cover the top of the grave. With egg shells and colored paper (what my cousins are doing in the picture above). There may have been a particular reason for egg shells and colored paper at some point, but that kinda got lost in the shuffle. So just do it, because it's respectful, okay? 

Step 3: You place newspaper in front of the tomb, and in front of the statues of the Gods that protect the tomb, in preparation for food and money offerings.

Step 4: You place food on the newspaper as an offering to your ancestors. You wait until the "essence" of the food has been accepted (you know this through consulting the special "joss sticks" you brought with you). 

Step 5: You burn certified fake paper money, so your ancestors will have something to spend up in Heaven.

Step 6: You eat the food you just offered. It's okay, because the essence of the food has already been eaten by your ancestors, remember? So don't even worry about it.

Repeat, if necessary. (Like, maybe you have more than just one dead ancestor.)

The idea of respecting those that came before you (or those that left before you) in this way makes me think I would like to show a similar respect for my deceased loved ones when I come back. We have a holiday like this too, you know. Except, I can't remember the last time I visited the graves of my ancestors on Memorial Day. Egg shells and colored paper aren't necessary for me, I believe, but it's through my ancestor's choices and decisions that I can enjoy the life I'm living now. I think that deserves something, don't you?

Tomb Sweeping isn't the only thing that's been happening around here. We've been having more familiar fun, as well.

(Thanks, Kendra, for taking those two pictures!)

∏ Day was a great success. 

And I've made a pact. 

For a solid 30 (THIRTY!) days, no refined sugar is going to pass my lips, in any way, shape, or form. 

That's right. I'm going to do it, dangit, just to say I can.

How can I give up things like that down there, you ask? 

That is a good question. But it's only a month, and besides, I can still eat these!

And trust me, they're delicious. 

Does It Need Saying?

The best part about my weekend? 

That. 

And this:

Kenting.

I swam there. 

It was amazing. As a Northern California girl born and raised, I'm used to frigid, greenish brown water on an overcast/sunny beach that you can only enjoy when you're good and numb. I love beaches. I love getting numb, I love spending hours in the temperamental sun getting frostbite and sunburned simultaneously. I've never been to any other beaches besides the ones in Northern California. 

Ohmygoodnessguys, the beaches in Kenting, Taiwan.

The water was clear and blue, the perfect temperature, and the waves were only slightly risky. I could see the coral below my feet as I was swimming. I didn't want to get out of the ocean, because I was warm in the water and the air around me was cold. I did somersaults, I floated above the rocks and coral, and I dived into the waves as they went crashing into the shore. Oh my goodness. If only the beach wasn't five-ish hours away. 

Unfortunately, we didn't spend all three days on the beach. We spent some time other places, like these ones:

Conclusion? Taiwan is amazing.

You should really just come here, you know.

For Sami

So, guys, funny story.

 

 

PRELUDE:  I love jewelry. I wear quite a few rings. (Four, in fact.) 

CHAPTER 1: My 9 year olds--the second graders--love to talk. About anything basically, but their favorite thing to talk about is kissing, and marriage, boyfriends, and girlfriends, and basically everything that they haven't the faintest clue about. It's cute. Mostly.

CHAPTER 2: My kids, for the longest time, didn't know the word for "marriage." When they were telling me funny story about crazy people getting married, they would stand their index and middle fingers on the table, both hands next to each other, and burst out The Bridal March: "dum DUM dah-dum, dum DUM da-dum!"

So, I taught them about about marriage. I taught them the word "married," I taught them how you can tell if someone is married, and I taught them what finger the ring goes on. Go me! I still get a little flutter of pride every time they use the term "get married" in their stories. I taught them that, I think, I'm so awesome.

 CHAPTER 3: Whenever they get bored with telling the stories, I become the story. This time, they noticed my rings. One of the girls had a stroke of brilliance, ran up to my desk, grabbed my hands, took off all my rings, and stuck EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM on my left hand ring finger. 

The response from the rest of the class? 

"MISS RAYNE'S MARRIED! MISS RAYNE'S MARRIED! MISS RAYNE'S MARRIED! MISS RAYNE, YOU'RE MARRIED!"

Then, another student, in a flash of genius, ran to my desk, and counted the rings on my left hand ring finger. One, two, three, four. The conclusion:

"EVERYBODY! MISS RAYNE HAS SIX BOYFRIENDS!" 

(They counted a couple rings twice in all the excitement.)

Today, they completed the ensemble by placing the lace scarf I was wearing around my head like a veil, braiding my hair, and telling me that the boy I marry will have yellow hair, green eyes, no glasses, and be very tall.

CONCLUSION: My kids are way too awesome.

Here There Be Dragons

This weekend we went to Lukang.

(Pronounced Loo-gong, guys. Loo-gong.)

Home of 2012's Taiwan Lantern Festival. (A different city hosts it every year.)

There were Spongebobs:

And Angry Birds, of course.

There were transformers:

 

Some Statue of Liberties:

This one's legit, actually. Not a lantern, a human. Who doesn't want to see an Asian Statue of Liberty, anyway? Go America!

 

Some famous Taiwan landmarks:

 

 

A bunch of random animals:

 

 

TONS OF DRAGONS:

(Happy year of the dragon, by the way. Have some children, everyone wants year-of-the-dragon children. They're awesome, so I'm told. I'm a snake, personally. What're you?)

 

A few other people had heard about this festival, as well.

 

There were some pears, too, because pears are awesome:

 

 

And, of course, no lantern festival is complete without Hello Kitty and Kung Fu Panda:

 

Lukang was packed, naturally, to the absolute brim. Streets had been blocked off from regular traffic just to make way for the thousands and thousands of people that were going to be shuffling about, obliviously snapping pictures. It was windy, it was freezing, I hadn't brought a coat, and Lukang was a train and bus ride away. 

But, man. Those LANTERNS. These LIGHTS. This COUNTRY. 

 

I think I'll have to go visit Lukang again, when it's not so infested with mindless, lantern gazing zombies. I think it deserves some in-depth exploring, especially in all the little corner shops that sell vintage wallets, and floral purses. Besides, there was an amazing pizza place. 

It was beautiful and fantastic. Best Daycation ever.